Delayed Gratification Scoundrel

We first talked about the Complacent Scoundrel.  This character is stuck in the status quo, never seeking what is best for herself.  The Delayed Gratification Scoundrel is stuck in a different place - the future.

Characteristics of the Delayed Gratification Scoundrel

For the Delayed Gratification Scoundrel, she's always choosing to look forward to happiness at some later date or time.  It's always a case of "I'll be happy when" with her.  She's locked into the mindset of the future situation and enjoying that new phase of her life.  This becomes a problem when she never chooses what'll make her happy NOW or when she sacrifices her present happiness for something that may never happen.  Plain and simple, the Delayed Gratification Scoundrel is unable to experience contentment in the present, causing her to remain unhappy.

Questions to Ask

When you recognize that someone is affected by the Delayed Gratification Scoundrel, here are some questions to ask in order to gauge if she's ready to return to the present.

• How has the Delayed Gratification Scoundrel helped you?
• How has it negatively affected you?
• When were you first introduced to the Delayed Gratification Scoundrel?  Was it brought to you by an outside force (family, culture, or society) or did you unconsciously accept it as your own?
• How have you been a Delayed Gratification Scoundrel in the past week?
• If there's something you'd rather be doing, can you do it instead?
• On a scale of 1-10 (10=best), how would you rate you overall level of satisfaction and happiness?
• How have you delayed your happiness in the past?  How can you achieve instant gratification?
• What's one thing you can do TODAY to have gratification and happiness in your life TODAY?

Defeating the Delayed Gratification Scoundrel

Just as with the Complacent Scoundrel, there are a variety of ways to defeat the Delayed Gratification Scoundrel.  However, these require a little more creativity to accomplish.

One big way to defeat the Delayed Gratification Scoundrel is to take time out of your day to play.  What things do you enjoy doing, that entertain and excite you?  Be artistic.  Play games with your family or friends.  Dress funky.  Do whatever enjoyable activity that helps you to nurture your inner child and get out of your own way, putting the serious you in the background for that moment in time.

Another way is to allow yourself to be in awe of life.  Take time to appreciate the little things in your environment and recognize the little things in yourself.  Return to your child-like vision of the world, observing everything.  You'll find things that you hadn't noticed before that this mind shift enables you to enjoy.

A third way is to add novelty into your life to make it more exiting.  To do this you'll have to step out of your comfort zone.  Just like with workouts you need to mix things up in the rest of your life.  I'm getting ready to do this myself in the next couple of weeks as we head to Germany to visit Benny's ailing mother.  I haven't been on a plane since 99 and don't know the language.  The whole trip is a novelty for me.

Affirmations

To keep your mind on defeating the Delayed Gratification Scoundrel, there are many affirmations that can guide you.  Pick any from the list (or choose your own), write them down, and place the affirmations around your home and workplace where they're visible to you.

I deserve all that I desire.

I desire all that I deserve.

I deserve to live the life I choose to lead.

I choose to be happy now.

I live in a limitless reality.

I accept the abundance of the Universe now.

My happiness is important to me today.

I listen to my heart.

I am in awe of my life as it stands right now.

I am balanced between work and play.

I revel in the ebb and flow of life.

The Complacent Scoundrel

Scoundrel (n): A dishonest or unscrupulous person; a rogue.

The first home study course I'm doing for the CECs through NETA is The Mind/Body Guide to Wellness,  This is worth 4 NETA CECs (not sure what it'd be worth for other certifying organizations).  The course centers around Deanna Reiter's The Nine Scoundrels.  These scoundrels lurk in our lives, sometimes obvious sometimes hidden, and tend to sabotage our happiness.  Do you recognize any of the nine scoundrels in your life or one of your loved ones?

Do any of these scoundrels get in the way of your joy? 1. Complacent - think things are good enough 2. Delayed Gratification - wait for what might make you happy 3. Addicted to Misery - enjoy complaining 4. Fear of Happiness - think too much pleasure will result in something bad 5. Martyr - put other people's joy before your own 6. Negative Thinking - assume the worst 7. Stuck in the Past - remember past wrongs & mistakes 8. Forward Thinking - live with a sense of anxiety & urgency 9. Grass is Greener - believe happiness lies outside of yourself #continuingeducation #wellnesscoach #GroupExerciseInstructor #cecs #neta #happiness #joy #mindset

A post shared by Cassandra Schmigotzki (@longandwindingroadtowellness) on Jan 25, 2017 at 6:49pm PST

Characteristics of the Complacent Scoundrel

For the Complacent Scoundrel, life is OK as is, nothing can be done to change it, and she must learn to live with life as it stands.  She is either unwilling or unable to identify the source of her unhappiness.  One of the major factors in her lack of motivation is the fear of the unknown.  From the outside observer, she appears happy, easy going, and indifferent.  She chooses whatever is second best because she accepts what's good enough.  She believes it'll be too difficult to fight her current situation to change anything.

There are a few good things associated with the Complacent Scoundrel.  She's usually a hard worker and extremely loyal.  She's also frugal but this can be taken to the extreme if she's not careful.

What prompts a person to kick the Complacent Scoundrel to the curb?  Some kind of external motivator pushes her to make a change.

Questions to Ask

When you recognize that someone is affected by the Complacent Scoundrel, here are some opening questions to ask in order to gauge if she's ready to move forward.

• How has the Complacent Scoundrel helped you?
• How has it negatively affected you?
• When were you first introduced to the Complacent Scoundrel?  Was it brought to you by an outside force (family, culture, or society) or did you unconsciously accept it as your own?
• How have you been a Complacent Scoundrel in the past week?
• On a scale of 1-10 (10=best), how would you rate your overall level of satisfaction and happiness?
• What have you settled for that's left you with less than ideal situations, people, or things?
• How can you make your life more ideal?  What's one thing that you can do TODAY to release what's not serving your highest good?

Defeating the Complacent Scoundrel

There are many things that can be done to defeat the Complacent Scoundrel.  One way is to garner conscious, independent thought to master your life.  This also allows you to see the alternatives within the areas of medicine, transportation, energy, education, business, government, economics, science, and theology.  Exploring the alternatives enables you to experience what's true for your unique self instead of solely relying on what tradition and the masses tell you.

Another way is to get your body moving with some kind of physical activity.  However, exercising only because you believe that you SHOULD can be problematic.  Intense exercise and extreme dieting hurts yourself by shocking your physical, mental, and emotional bodies.  Sticking with the SHOULDs causes you to want immediate gratification instead of gradual change.  The desire to exercise doesn't exist so it's not enjoyable.  You're also not a part of a support system to help with your accountability and progress.  All this together shows that you're not in the right mindset to truly change.

A third way to defeat the Complacent Scoundrel is to eat healthier according to what your body needs.  Being more conscious at the dinner table can help.  How can you do this?

1. Transition.  Take a moment sitting in your car to relax and leave any work problems behind before entering your home.
2. Check in with your mood.  Recognize if something's been weighing on you and take a mental step towards resolving the issue.
3. Check in with your body.  What's your body craving?
4. Sit.  If you're snacking before dinner, take the exact portion, not the whole package, with you to sit and eat.  Move yourself away from the next serving.
5. Pause and get conscious.  There are two options to work on this area.
1. Spend meal time talking with your family, keeping the conversation positive.
2. Just sit and eat.  Enjoy everything about the food...taste, smell, emotions, etc.

Affirmations

To keep your mind on defeating the Complacent Scoundrel, there are many affirmations and thought changes that guide you.  Pick any from the list below (or choose your own), write them down, and place the affirmations around your home and workplace where they're visible to you.

I create my reality.

I deserve to be happy.

I deserve a perfect job.

I deserve a perfect place to live.

I deserve respect.

Only loving, peaceful people deserve to be in my life.

Everyone in my world wants what's best for me.

The Universe supports my happiness.

I choose to be in perfect situations.

I deserve the best that life has to offer me.

I choose to live a life of excitement and awe.

I deserve an ideal relationship with myself and others.

I'm generous with myself and others.

I choose to exercise and eat well for my health.

This plan is working for me.

Exercise is enjoyable.

My metabolism is getting faster.

This is getting easier.

Sweating is good; it releases toxins.

I'm getting more flexible every day.

I have the energy to do all that I need to do.

I can accomplish anything.

I can do this today.

I'm capable in this moment, at this age.

Every healthy step I take reaps benefits.

I am my healthy weight. (visualize it)

I'm fit.  I'm healthy.  I'm strong.

Some Basic Psychology

What most of us aren’t aware of is just how much of a slave we typically are to our biology – and especially when it comes to neuroscience.

We have the illusion of self-control. That is to say that we feel like we choose what we do and we choose how we feel. If we’re angry, it’s because of some injustice – we’ve thought about the situation and decided that anger is the correct response.

If you’re happy, it’s because all is well with the world and you’re content.

We then take all this information and decide what we want to do next and how we’re going to perform at that activity.

But the reality is that we are not in charge of our brains. Rather, our brains are in charge of us. And they’re largely controlled by our bodies and our situations too. Unless we understand the workings of our brain and we’re able to take conscious control over the processes that dictate our moods, our motivations and more, then we are destined to remain at the whim of certain chemicals – and completely oblivious to that fact.

Okay, so let’s go deep right off the bat. Who are ‘you’? What makes you, you?

The answer is your brain to a large extent. And your brain in turn is made up of billions of neurons – small cells that have tendril-like extensions reaching out and into the different corners of your skull. These neurons can be created, destroyed or changed via our experiences and they represent all kinds of things including memories, sights, smells, thoughts and ‘commands’ to move our body.

When an electrical impulse moves through a neuron, this means it is ‘firing’ and thus we experience whatever correlates with that firing. If you open up someone’s skull and use an electrode to stimulate individual neurons, then one might make someone see a point of red light, one might make someone move their arm and another might make them remember their Mother. 

These neurons are all interconnected and the more often two neurons fire at once, the more connected they become. Thus, when one neurons fires, it is likely that others around it will fire depending on the strength of the firing (called an ‘action potential), other activity in the area and the strength of the connection. Some ‘clusters’ of neurons form the major brain structures like the occipital lobe, motor cortex or hippocampus which are responsible for particular behaviors. Other neurons reach from one end of the brain all the way to the other!

Already you can see how your brain is not always entirely under your control. If you see something specific, then this will cause certain neurons to fire based on your memories and understanding of that object. But it might also cause surrounding neurons to fire, depending on the associations you’ve formed during that life-time.

And when certain neurons fire, they cause particular emotions. That’s because neurons communicate across synapses – small gaps between the end of one neuron (the axon – which is like a tail) and the dendrites (like arms) of another.

At the end of each axon is the synaptic knob, which is filled with chemicals called neurotransmitters, held inside ‘neuro vesicles’. When the synapse fires, it causes these neurotransmitters to be released and that then alters the behavior of the transmission and the surrounding cells. Some neurotransmitters are ‘excitatory’ and make other neurons more likely to fire. Others are ‘inhibitory’ and make them less likely to fire – and more suppressed.

Others have more complex roles. Some for example will make you more likely to remember something, while others will make you feel happy or sad. This is what controls the way you ‘feel’ about certain experiences.

Neurotransmitters are linked closely with hormones too. Some hormones act like neurotransmitters while some neurotransmitters can act like hormones. Essentially, hormones are longer lasting and generally produced in the body, while neurotransmitters have shorter-lasting effects and are produced in the brain. Even hormones produced in the body though are largely triggered by the pituitary gland, which is located in the brain. 

 

See a lion for instance and your brain will sit up and take notice owing to the associations you form with that image. Relevant neurons will fire and because those neurons are coded with danger, they will release a number of neurotransmitters like dopamine and cortisol to increase activity and say that something important is happening. This increased activity causes more of the brain to light up and areas around the hypothalamus will then begin to trigger activity in the pituitary gland, producing adrenocorticotropic hormone. The adrenal gland will also be triggered at this point, releasing the hormone epinephrine, which is essentially a form of adrenaline. This is then what causes changes in the sympathetic nervous system.

This triggers physiological changes, including:

• The acceleration of the heart and lungs
• Vasoconstriction (thinning of the blood vessels) 
• Dilation of the blood vessels leading to muscles
• Dilation of the pupils
• Sense of dread/anxiety
• Tunnel vision
• Thickening of the blood to encourage clotting after injury
• Pain reduction
• Contraction of the muscles
• Shaking
• Suppression of digestion and immune function

Essentially, the body now directs all blood, oxygen, nutrients and resources to the muscles and the brain, in order to aid in combat, escape or other physical activity.

All this is involuntary and all of this is controlled entirely by automatic responses throughout your body. And it completely changes the way you now think and the way your body operates. It changes the way people see you and it drastically effects the way you perceive everything that happens subsequently.

But it’s not just during times of high stress that you see such uncontrolled changes throughout your body. And there are many complex interactions of chemicals and hormones going on inside your body all the time…

Next week we'll dive further into neurotransmitters and how they interact with our bodies.