Delayed Gratification Scoundrel

We first talked about the Complacent Scoundrel.  This character is stuck in the status quo, never seeking what is best for herself.  The Delayed Gratification Scoundrel is stuck in a different place - the future.

Characteristics of the Delayed Gratification Scoundrel

For the Delayed Gratification Scoundrel, she's always choosing to look forward to happiness at some later date or time.  It's always a case of "I'll be happy when" with her.  She's locked into the mindset of the future situation and enjoying that new phase of her life.  This becomes a problem when she never chooses what'll make her happy NOW or when she sacrifices her present happiness for something that may never happen.  Plain and simple, the Delayed Gratification Scoundrel is unable to experience contentment in the present, causing her to remain unhappy.

Questions to Ask

When you recognize that someone is affected by the Delayed Gratification Scoundrel, here are some questions to ask in order to gauge if she's ready to return to the present.

• How has the Delayed Gratification Scoundrel helped you?
• How has it negatively affected you?
• When were you first introduced to the Delayed Gratification Scoundrel?  Was it brought to you by an outside force (family, culture, or society) or did you unconsciously accept it as your own?
• How have you been a Delayed Gratification Scoundrel in the past week?
• If there's something you'd rather be doing, can you do it instead?
• On a scale of 1-10 (10=best), how would you rate you overall level of satisfaction and happiness?
• How have you delayed your happiness in the past?  How can you achieve instant gratification?
• What's one thing you can do TODAY to have gratification and happiness in your life TODAY?

Defeating the Delayed Gratification Scoundrel

Just as with the Complacent Scoundrel, there are a variety of ways to defeat the Delayed Gratification Scoundrel.  However, these require a little more creativity to accomplish.

One big way to defeat the Delayed Gratification Scoundrel is to take time out of your day to play.  What things do you enjoy doing, that entertain and excite you?  Be artistic.  Play games with your family or friends.  Dress funky.  Do whatever enjoyable activity that helps you to nurture your inner child and get out of your own way, putting the serious you in the background for that moment in time.

Another way is to allow yourself to be in awe of life.  Take time to appreciate the little things in your environment and recognize the little things in yourself.  Return to your child-like vision of the world, observing everything.  You'll find things that you hadn't noticed before that this mind shift enables you to enjoy.

A third way is to add novelty into your life to make it more exiting.  To do this you'll have to step out of your comfort zone.  Just like with workouts you need to mix things up in the rest of your life.  I'm getting ready to do this myself in the next couple of weeks as we head to Germany to visit Benny's ailing mother.  I haven't been on a plane since 99 and don't know the language.  The whole trip is a novelty for me.

Affirmations

To keep your mind on defeating the Delayed Gratification Scoundrel, there are many affirmations that can guide you.  Pick any from the list (or choose your own), write them down, and place the affirmations around your home and workplace where they're visible to you.

I deserve all that I desire.

I desire all that I deserve.

I deserve to live the life I choose to lead.

I choose to be happy now.

I live in a limitless reality.

I accept the abundance of the Universe now.

My happiness is important to me today.

I listen to my heart.

I am in awe of my life as it stands right now.

I am balanced between work and play.

I revel in the ebb and flow of life.

The Complacent Scoundrel

Scoundrel (n): A dishonest or unscrupulous person; a rogue.

The first home study course I'm doing for the CECs through NETA is The Mind/Body Guide to Wellness,  This is worth 4 NETA CECs (not sure what it'd be worth for other certifying organizations).  The course centers around Deanna Reiter's The Nine Scoundrels.  These scoundrels lurk in our lives, sometimes obvious sometimes hidden, and tend to sabotage our happiness.  Do you recognize any of the nine scoundrels in your life or one of your loved ones?

Do any of these scoundrels get in the way of your joy? 1. Complacent - think things are good enough 2. Delayed Gratification - wait for what might make you happy 3. Addicted to Misery - enjoy complaining 4. Fear of Happiness - think too much pleasure will result in something bad 5. Martyr - put other people's joy before your own 6. Negative Thinking - assume the worst 7. Stuck in the Past - remember past wrongs & mistakes 8. Forward Thinking - live with a sense of anxiety & urgency 9. Grass is Greener - believe happiness lies outside of yourself #continuingeducation #wellnesscoach #GroupExerciseInstructor #cecs #neta #happiness #joy #mindset

A post shared by Cassandra Schmigotzki (@longandwindingroadtowellness) on Jan 25, 2017 at 6:49pm PST

Characteristics of the Complacent Scoundrel

For the Complacent Scoundrel, life is OK as is, nothing can be done to change it, and she must learn to live with life as it stands.  She is either unwilling or unable to identify the source of her unhappiness.  One of the major factors in her lack of motivation is the fear of the unknown.  From the outside observer, she appears happy, easy going, and indifferent.  She chooses whatever is second best because she accepts what's good enough.  She believes it'll be too difficult to fight her current situation to change anything.

There are a few good things associated with the Complacent Scoundrel.  She's usually a hard worker and extremely loyal.  She's also frugal but this can be taken to the extreme if she's not careful.

What prompts a person to kick the Complacent Scoundrel to the curb?  Some kind of external motivator pushes her to make a change.

Questions to Ask

When you recognize that someone is affected by the Complacent Scoundrel, here are some opening questions to ask in order to gauge if she's ready to move forward.

• How has the Complacent Scoundrel helped you?
• How has it negatively affected you?
• When were you first introduced to the Complacent Scoundrel?  Was it brought to you by an outside force (family, culture, or society) or did you unconsciously accept it as your own?
• How have you been a Complacent Scoundrel in the past week?
• On a scale of 1-10 (10=best), how would you rate your overall level of satisfaction and happiness?
• What have you settled for that's left you with less than ideal situations, people, or things?
• How can you make your life more ideal?  What's one thing that you can do TODAY to release what's not serving your highest good?

Defeating the Complacent Scoundrel

There are many things that can be done to defeat the Complacent Scoundrel.  One way is to garner conscious, independent thought to master your life.  This also allows you to see the alternatives within the areas of medicine, transportation, energy, education, business, government, economics, science, and theology.  Exploring the alternatives enables you to experience what's true for your unique self instead of solely relying on what tradition and the masses tell you.

Another way is to get your body moving with some kind of physical activity.  However, exercising only because you believe that you SHOULD can be problematic.  Intense exercise and extreme dieting hurts yourself by shocking your physical, mental, and emotional bodies.  Sticking with the SHOULDs causes you to want immediate gratification instead of gradual change.  The desire to exercise doesn't exist so it's not enjoyable.  You're also not a part of a support system to help with your accountability and progress.  All this together shows that you're not in the right mindset to truly change.

A third way to defeat the Complacent Scoundrel is to eat healthier according to what your body needs.  Being more conscious at the dinner table can help.  How can you do this?

1. Transition.  Take a moment sitting in your car to relax and leave any work problems behind before entering your home.
2. Check in with your mood.  Recognize if something's been weighing on you and take a mental step towards resolving the issue.
3. Check in with your body.  What's your body craving?
4. Sit.  If you're snacking before dinner, take the exact portion, not the whole package, with you to sit and eat.  Move yourself away from the next serving.
5. Pause and get conscious.  There are two options to work on this area.
1. Spend meal time talking with your family, keeping the conversation positive.
2. Just sit and eat.  Enjoy everything about the food...taste, smell, emotions, etc.

Affirmations

To keep your mind on defeating the Complacent Scoundrel, there are many affirmations and thought changes that guide you.  Pick any from the list below (or choose your own), write them down, and place the affirmations around your home and workplace where they're visible to you.

I create my reality.

I deserve to be happy.

I deserve a perfect job.

I deserve a perfect place to live.

I deserve respect.

Only loving, peaceful people deserve to be in my life.

Everyone in my world wants what's best for me.

The Universe supports my happiness.

I choose to be in perfect situations.

I deserve the best that life has to offer me.

I choose to live a life of excitement and awe.

I deserve an ideal relationship with myself and others.

I'm generous with myself and others.

I choose to exercise and eat well for my health.

This plan is working for me.

Exercise is enjoyable.

My metabolism is getting faster.

This is getting easier.

Sweating is good; it releases toxins.

I'm getting more flexible every day.

I have the energy to do all that I need to do.

I can accomplish anything.

I can do this today.

I'm capable in this moment, at this age.

Every healthy step I take reaps benefits.

I am my healthy weight. (visualize it)

I'm fit.  I'm healthy.  I'm strong.

Costa Rica Wellness Retreat

The last time we were on vacation was in 2011 and I was probably 120 lbs heavier.  Last year, after hitting my goal weight, I rewarded myself buying a high-waisted bikini, but never had the opportunity to wear it outside the house.  I have only been outside the US a couple of times in my life (both briefly in Canada).  It's time to change all this!  This retreat is an opportunity for Austin, Benny, and I to go to Costa Rica this October (during Austin's fall break) but I need your help in making this awesome experience happen!

I'm looking for a group of at least 15 to join FIT Life Creation and my family on this all inclusive adventure filled with surfing, zip lining, healthy living workshops, and more, at the Riu Guanacaste  in beautiful Costa Rica October 13-17.  I'd love to meet you in person and work with you in a small group setting as one big fit party to help you on your healthy living journey.  What kind of magic will we make for your path?

For trip details or to book your adventure visit Fit Life Creation and enter LAWRTW at checkout for a little discount from me to you.  BONUS:  If your package is booked before August 10 there's a $500 savings (excluding airfare)!

 

Healthy Living Workshops

Below are some sample topics we could cover in the workshops.

Nutrition

• The Misinformation of Fad Diets
• Why Diets Don't Work/What to Do Instead of Dieting
• Portion Control
• Menu Planning
• Mindful Eating
• Conquering Cravings
• Fueling Your Body

Fitness

• Getting (Re)Started
• Maximizing Results
• Finding Your Fitness Soulmate
• Busting Plateaus
• Overcoming Roadblocks

Personal Development

• Self Care Practices
• Stress Reduction
• Loving Your Body
• Life Balance
• Mindset Shifts

Once the group is registered I'll send out a survey to find out what topics you'd like covered so we can put together workshops tailored to your needs. Be sure to complete the form below to receive any updates on the retreat.

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Healthy Living Workshops

Show me how you're currently living your journey and put a hashtag on it!  Be sure to include #BrandNewMe and #createmyfit in your post.

Check out the healthy living freebies at FIT Life Creation.

If you're a fellow Fitpreneur and would like to host or cohost a workshop please email me your proposal at longandwindingroad@usa.com.

The Wellness Coach Difference

Image Courtesy of phanlop88 | FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Wellness coaching is a relatively new profession, but the idea behind it is really rooted in how we, as human beings, operate. As a wellness coach, I help you work with your unique body, and take into consideration how everything in your life affects your health and wellness.

At the first glance, you may think what a wellness coach does is not much different from a conventional nutritionist or dietician, or a diet program. However, there are some subtle nuances that make our approach superior in terms of creating positive changes that last – instead of delivering a Band-Aid solution.

As a wellness coach:

• I work with the concept of bio-individuality. My approach is client-driven. Instead of getting a one-size-fits-all meal plan based on a cookie-cutter approach or one fad diet, I create customized plans for my clients based on their individual circumstances, lifestyle habits, health condition and other needs.
• Nutrition is generally approached as “whole foods”, instead of compartmentalizing them into individual nutrients such as calories, carbs, proteins, fats etc. Why? Because the synergistic relationship among these various components when they are ingested in the form of whole foods deliver much more benefits than when they are taken as individual nutrients.
• With the Brand New Me Wellness Coaching Programs, during which I work with my clients for at least a month in sessions that last 30-45 minutes, I am able to be with them every step of the way so that we are able to look into lifestyle choices and work on changing habits, resulting in meaningful and positive behavioral changes that last for a long time, delivering long-term health benefits.
• My coaching is goal-, action- and result-oriented. My approach focuses on implementation and integration, so that healthy changes are integrated into your life. We live in the age of information overload – you don’t need more information, you need to know which information to use and how to make them work for your life.
• Instead of treating the symptoms, I work with my clients to get to the underlying causes of their health concerns. We look at how issues such as stress, emotional distress, physical activities, lack of “soul nourishment” etc. affect our overall wellbeing. I help my clients cultivate the awareness to improve all areas of their lives.
• I support my clients to work with their body on healing itself so that they can eventually reduce the amount of medication that they rely on.
• Instead of forcing my clients to stick to some “plan” which does not work for them, I first listen to my clients’ needs and concerns, then work with them to get over blocks or resistance, making any behavioral changes they make stick.

I am Your Health Advocate

As your Wellness Coach, I support you to live your life to the fullest. Working with me, you will get:

• A plan of ACTION that is realistic, practical and actionable
• GUIDANCE to implement changes that work with your lifestyle
• SUPPORT to course correct and stay on track
• ACCOUNTABILITY that leads to success that lasts a lifetime

Image Courtesy of everydayplus | FreeDigitalPhotos.net

What is Not Taking Action Costing You?

Chances are, if you invest in your health and wellness, you will recover your investment and more through savings in medications, doctor's visits, unnecessary supplements, fad diets, ineffective treatments, as well as increased productivities and fewer sick days.

Plus, who can put a price on more vitality, less stress, better relationships, and a happier existence?

To find out if wellness coaching is right for you, I invite you to schedule a free wellness strategy session during which we will discover how I can support you for a healthier, happier life.

Be Your Best Self

"Be Your Best Self" is this week's Weight Watchers meeting topic. What words to you use to describe yourself now (I.e. introverted, a parent, a spouse, a brunette, vertically challenged, etc.)?  What things about you would you continue to be in the future?

How would you describe your future self (I.e. once you've reached your ultimate goal)?  Use he Best-Self Portrait below, filling in the items in the {} brackets (remember Mad Libs) to get started.

I wish they'd given an example because I struggled with completing my Best-Self Portrait....Not sure if this is really what they were looking for but here goes nothing!

Cassi's Best-Self Portrait

My best self is happy and stress-free.  My best self likes to travel regularly with my family and guide others on their journeys to improve their overall health and wellness.  When faced with a challenge, my best self thinks how I can work through/around this and researches options.  On a typical day, my best self chooses to eat apples and spinach.  In a typical week, my best self gets in a few workouts including weightlifting and yoga.  My best self takes time out for relaxing, restoring breaks such as reading.  Overall my best self feels at peace about life.  If someone starting on their journey asked for my definition of success, my best self would say, "Success is a state of mind.  If you want success, start thinking of yourself as a success." (Dr. Joyce Brothers)

 

Which element that you filled in can you work on this week to start making your best-self a reality?  What specific actions will you take?


<a href="http://aintnodramamama.blogspot.com/"> <img src="http://imageshack.com/a/img537/4720/M6Nql0.png" alt="Weigh-in Wednesday!">
Sorry for not having a post last week.  With only walking and yoga I really had nothing to share with you.  The doctor has said it's OK to start Super Heroine Fitness Episode 3 so I'll begin tomorrow.  I'm excited because it was getting boring to me!

Linking up with

My Inner Mean Girls Cost Me a Lot

After taking the quiz some months ago to find out who my Inner Mean Girls are I bought Christine and Amy's book in March.  However, I didn't sit down and start reading it until recently.  I'm only on the beginning of the second step but I can kind of start seeing a common thread of what my Inner Mean Girls are costing me.

Christine and Amy classify 13 types of Inner Mean Girls, each with their own unique characteristics.  Those types where you score 21 points or higher are your core Inner Mean Girls.

First up is the Invincible Superwoman.  She has me carrying the world on my shoulders and starves me from joy.  She lies to me to keep pushing through no matter what and tells me it'll take too long to show someone else how to do something so I have to do it all myself.

The middle two had the same score on the quiz.  One was obvious to me and the other shocked me.

I've always felt like a Fixer and Rescuer - over-caring, sacrificing self to care for others (never to the point of someone like Mother Teresa though), and over-empathizing, feeling others' pain.  She lies to me telling me that I have to help because nobody else will.

I was shocked to discover that I have an Achievement Junkie as an Inner Mean Girl.  She discounts and doesn't acknowledge my achievements.   She makes me overfocus on the future and seek external validation.  She lies to me telling me that I must work hard and drive myself hard to succeed.

The final dominant Inner Mean Girl is the Worrywart in me is always creating catastrophic situations and stories in my mind and causes me to obsessively think about these worst-case scenarios and hypothetical situations.  She lies to me telling me that life's hard and I have to get used to it or has me thinking (when things are good) that disaster is around the corner.

Do we share any of the same types of Inner Mean Girls?

I feel that my Inner Mean Girls drive me to

• Act like a victim, feeling sorry for myself.
• Make others, or myself, wrong (the blame game).
• Adopt an image to fit a situation or relationship, selling out my true self.
• Try to fix others, allowing my emotions to be overcome by others' emotions.
• Whine and make everything difficult.
• Get small and fade into the background.
• Feign confusion to avoid conflict or express hard emotions.
• Worry and obsess over things beyond my control.
• Isolate myself.
• Explode or get inappropriately angry or frustrated.
• Let my mind obsessively create stories, scenarios, and plans.
• Focus my mind on the future instead of the present.
• Put all my energy and time into one part, neglecting others.
• Avoid moving into action.
• Asking everyone for an opinion, obsessively searching for answers.
• Keeping myself preoccupied with something, staying busy.
• Keeping and blocking love and affection from myself or others.

My adaptation of the chart found on page 77

My Inner Mean Girls are costing me in my career.  They're keeping me stuck in a job that I hate.  The truth is that I'm afraid to make the drastic change from an office job to full time wellness coaching.  I'm sick and tired of going to a job that drains my energy.  I really desire a way to use my gifts, fulfilling my purpose, and taking care of my family financially.

My Inner Mean Girls are costing me friends and family.  They're keeping me stuck in the house being anti-social.  The truth is I'm afraid to go places alone but have nobody to go with me to most things (as Benny never seems to want to join me).  I'm sick and tired of being bored and chained to electronics.  I really desire to be more outgoing.

My Inner Mean Girls are costing me my creativity and self-expression.  They're keeping so much bottled inside that when something does emerge it looks and/or sounds weird, even to me.  The truth is, being an only child, I've always been creative, but my creativity has been suspended over the years.  I'm sick and tired of my mind going blank when I'm trying to create something and/or express myself.  I really desire to paint again.

My Inner Mean Girls are costing me my marriage.  They're keeping me from appreciating the little things Benny does and focusing only on the negatives.  The truth is I over-react to some things he does or says but honestly I don't know HOW to react another way.  I'm sick and tired of being bored in the marriage and not communicating (not talking about the language barrier but all others).  I really desire to have a better marriage.

My Inner Mean Girls are costing me financial security, just like with my career.  They're keeping me from exploring other income options or sources with Benny not working.  The truth is I worry about money ALL THE TIME but I've had to let Benny make most decisions as it stresses me out.  I'm sick and tired of not being able to go anywhere, do anything, buy things, etc.  I really desire the things to make a house a home and travel regularly.

My Inner Mean Girls are costing me my emotional health.  They're keeping me frozen in time and not letting me pamper myself to keep my mind at ease.  The truth is I have never known how to properly pamper myself so I don't know where to begin or even what I like.  I'm sick and tired of feeling tense and easily angered.  I really desire the ability to relax.

My Inner Mean Girls are costing me my physical health.  They're keeping me stuck eating and making the same foods over and over again.  The truth is I'm bored with what I cook but I'm afraid to explore a lot of new recipes.  I'm sick and tired of not being able to enjoy eating because everything tastes the same.  I really desire to explore new foods and spices without fear.

As I wrote these out in my journal I recognized some common themes - fear, boredom, internalizing everything.  Do you spot any others?  I can't wait to find out what else I learn about myself through reforming my Inner Mean Girls. 

You don't have to take the quiz beforehand as I did because it's also available in the book (for those that prefer the pen & paper method).  Order a copy of Reform Your Inner Mean Girl on Amazon to begin your transformation.

BODYpeace Series

I recently completed Heather and Kasey's #StopStrivingStartThriving Challenge, beginning my own BODYpeace discovery journey. My mind kept wandering off and not focusing whenever I tried the journaling activities so I've only just scratched the surface.
 

  

What is BODYpeace?

 

BODYpeace is a safety net and guidebook with a supportive Facebook community to help women rid themselves of the body shame brought on by the unrealistic perfection expected of us by society and ourselves. This journey helps you to stop using diet and exercise to restrict yourself in any way. Although it involves food it's not a diet or weight loss plan. The journey is set for 30 days but you're not expected to transform overnight. Like myself you may have to go through the journey many times before you're comfortable but you'll take away something every time. When times get tough you can always return to the individual lessons for reference and restoration.

 

 

The first half of your BODYpeace discovery journey involves BODYtruths. You learn to change your mindset and what you think about your body. Each day's lesson is accompanied with meditation and a journaling exercise. I have personally struggled with meditation over the years (i.e. every sound distracting me, dozing off, etc.) so that makes it even more difficult for me to journal.

 

 

The second half involves BODYfuels. It opens your eyes to any fears you may have about food. You learn how to look at food as fuel instead.

 

Starting Your BODYpeace Journey

 

To get started on your own discovery journey you need to:

 

1. Purchase a copy of BODYpeace on Amazon.

  

2. Go to www.BODYoeaceMovement.com/book to download the meditations and join the Facebook community.
 

3. Get a journal specifically for BODYpeace to use throughout your journey.

4. Set aside the time and energy to commit to this journey.

5. Set your WHY for taking this journey.
 

The Series
 

I would like to have a weekly series of guest posts starting in March for other women to share their thoughts, experiences, or what they have learned from their BODYpeace discovery journeys. Tuesdays will become #BODYfuel day where someone can share a recipe or anything else food related. Thursdays will be #BODYtruth day where someone will share what she has learned about her body (that she is comfortable in sharing of course and nothing pornographic).
 

If you are interested in guest posting please read the guidelines (excluding the age as a woman of ANY age can be on this journey) and complete the form here, indicating which category you want to share. I will contact you and set the timeframe for your post.

 

 

All BODYpeace images courtesy of Kasey & Heather.

Discovering Cassi

I've started reading Jillian Michaels' Unlimited: How to Build an Exceptional Life as a part of my personal development.  There are series of questions to answer and reflect upon with each chapter - "Working it Out".  You can download a PDF copy of the questions if you prefer or record your answers electronically like I do with this blog.

The first set of questions are designed to discover who you are.  You're supposed to use your heart, not your head, to answer the questions.  Be honest with yourself; don't just write what should be.  So who am I?

Professionally I prefer a more casual work environment.  The politics of a small business can be bad but it can be horrendous in a corporate environment.  As an example, when I was a contractor at HP our role as Inside Sales Associates was a joke.  We were treated like stepchildren in the attic.  Our hands were constantly being tied, preventing us from truly supporting our sales teams.

A start-up could only be adventurous as a side job for me, nothing that I would be in 100%.  I have to have the stability of something more established.  My main job must be something that can support my family from day one.

Image Courtesy of David Castillo Dominici | FreeDigitalPhotos.net

In the past I have enjoyed giving back to the community in various ways - being a Child Advocate, volunteering at various events in Indianapolis, participating in various outreaches through church, etc.  My most recent was volunteering at Austin's elementary school, serving on the Parent Teacher Connection (their equivalent of PTO/PTA).  Since Austin moved on to middle school I haven't done any volunteering.  In some ways I miss it but other ways I don't.  I would like to start doing something again but I don't know what.  Benny still doesn't understand the concept of volunteering.

Over the years I've had many hobbies and interests that I'm no longer doing, mostly with arts and crafts.  I have paint that's dried up or separated sitting in a drawer.  My scrapbooking supplies are sitting in a backpack in the front room (along with a ton of other things for which we don't have a place).  I just haven't felt consistently creative or artistic in several years.

On an ideal day I'd wake up after the sunrise so the sunlight bathes me while exercising.  I'd eat a nice breakfast or brunch before taking on the day.  Everything that needed to be accomplished would be taken care of.  We'd have a family outing or something enjoyable together and come home for dinner and movie (unless that was part of the outing).  My sleep would be restorative.  Stress would be kept at a minimum.

Image Courtesy of David Castillo Dominici | FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Sometimes I prefer the independence of working alone and other times I prefer working as a part of a team.  It would depend on the project as well as the people.  I've been burned too many times in the past where team members failed to do their part so I ended up having to scramble and do everything last minute alone or maybe with one other person.  Event planning is definitely something better suited for a team environment.  I never had problems with the core team we built for planning the winter carnival at Austin's elementary school.  I think that was the best team experience I ever had.

I've been wondering aimlessly for so long that I wasn't really passionate about anything specific.  I had always known I was meant to help people but nothing beyond that.  My volunteer work was widespread, never focused on any one type of event, organization, or anything.  Until I started eating healthier and exercising I really had nothing to work with.  This new-found passion to help those 40+ to improve their overall health and wellness has been a great wake up call for me. 

I have NEVER wanted to try skydiving, hang gliding, or something else crazy.  Hills in the car bother me.  I can't do the teacup ride at the fair either.  Both make me nauseous with a headache!  I must stay grounded.

All my schooling has been business or language oriented.  So, to go along with this new-found passion, I would like to get my group exercise and wellness coaching certification from NETAfit as recommended by Sheila at The Frugal Exerciser.

Now that this first chapter is done it's time to move on to chapter two and working on what it means to master the dream.

Would you like to join me in building an exceptional life?  Pick up a copy of Unlimited at your library or on Amazon (available as paperback or hardcover as well as for the Kindle).

Happy New Year! - Welcome to 2014

Sorry for skipping out on you after completing the Slim in 6 for the Holidays Challenge.  Never got in those after pictures.  It was crazy around here trying to get ready for Christmas with my family in Ohio.  It was the first time we had Christmas BEFORE Christmas so we kind of had to rush everything.

My Slim in 6 for the Holidays Losses

4.8 pounds

.5 inch off my thighs

2 inches off my chest

2.5 inches off my waist

TOTAL WEIGHT LOST FOR 2013 - 62.8 lbs (as of 12/26)

I came across the Weight Watchers' New Year, New You Challenge yesterday.  This 4 week challenge appears to be designed to help you get a jump start on your weight loss goal for 2014.  By committing to the challenge you're vowing to look towards the future not the past.  There are weekly tasks to help you be healthier and successful in reaching your goal.  Tasks are designed to keep you mindful in everything you do and help you navigate your journey.  This sounds like a great idea so I signed up as a participant.

Week 1 has two tasks, one immediate and the other long term.  The immediate task is to try food that you've never had before, preferably whole foods.  Well, I tried almond milk and other lettuces at my grandparents' house during our Christmas and PB2 (love it!) later so I say I'm good for this one.

The long term task is thinking outside the scale.  This involves a separate goal that has nothing to do with your weight or clothing size.  For me I think it would be to participate in some kind of personal development program.  I've been reading books but they're just not clicking for me, not holding my concentration.  Perhaps participating in a program with hands-on activity is the key.  Now to find these programs that won't cost an arm and a leg...

This new year also marks some changes to the blog.  First of all I'm moving my weekly updates to Wednesdays.  It just makes more sense to post the day after I've weighed in at Weight Watchers rather than the Sunday night after.  #WEIGHINWEDNESDAY

The second change is the introduction of healthy recipes on Tuesdays.  Mostly these recipes will be contributed but every once in a while it'll be something I've done (when I felt creative in the kitchen).  So what's the best way to do my weekly "call for recipes"?  #TASTYTUESDAY Non-recipe guest posts will be on Thursdays.

The third change is in the works.  I'm looking at ending Casually Cassi and moving all product reviews here.  It's just not getting the interaction and viewership that I thought I'd have.  I'm actually not getting more opportunities because of that.  Please leave your opinions of this transition in the comments.

Conquering Glossophobia

Photo Credit: Håkan Dahlström via Compfight cc

Glossophobia - the fear of public speaking.  Now I finally know the term for it I can conquer it!

The Shyness Solution gives steps to solving shyness and some practical examples - going to a party and meeting new people, asking someone on a date, asserting yourself in the workplace, asking for what you need from friends, asking for what you need from family members, asking for what you need from a coworker, and speaking in public.  Each step is shown for all examples, including your reaction and what you should do.  I really need to work on the glossophobia example.

Photo Credit: Dhammika Heenpella / Images of Sri Lanka via Compfight cc

1. The Situation:  What situation makes you feel fearful, uncomfortable, and timid?
2. Notice the Thoughts:  What negative self-talk arises from the thought of being in the situation?  Take note of the irrational and worst-case scenario thoughts.
3. Do I need to engage in this situation?:  Give yourself the reason WHY and then actually say "SILENCE!" to the fearful thoughts.  Replace these thoughts with an I Choose statement.
4. Talk Back:  Respond to your negative thoughts with the reasons why these irrational thoughts aren't in your best interest and replace them with the positive aspects.
5. Visualize:  Relax for 20-30 minutes before approaching the situation.  Clear your thoughts and let your worries float away.  Picture yourself in your safe, peaceful, happy place.  SEE yourself heading to the situation, full of confidence.  SEE yourself successfully working through that situation.

My Situation

I need to present the Beachbody business to others in order to gain customers and coaches on my team.

My Thoughts

• There's no way that I can do this.  I'm terrified of speaking in public.  I'll make a fool of myself and look bad.
• If I talk to people I won't remember what I have to say and they'll be staring at me seeing my incompetence.
• I believe helping others on their journey to better health and wellness is my passion and purpose for life.  If I fail to present everything properly everyone will be disappointed in me.  I'll lose my new found sense of purpose.

Engagement

I don't want to just have an online business.  I must SILENCE this fear of public speaking.  I choose to have a local presence in my community.  Once I get this business going I choose to host a local fit club, whether it's just a handful of people or a crowd.

Response

• I want to help people achieve better health and wellness.  If I make a fool of myself, it'll be OK.  That'll just make my presentation more real, not scripted.
• I'm not even close to being incompetent.  Sure, I might not know it all but I have resources to access to find the missing links.  When I forget what I'm saying that can leave an opportunity open for questions to be asked.  I can recover!  And again, it'll make it all real.
• I am a living example that this works.  Me, who doesn't like many fruits or veggies.  Me, who used to turn her nose up at any exercise and always questioned the purpose of gym class.  If I can do it anyone can!

Visualization

My safe, peaceful, happy place would be the beach.  To help picture myself there I could pull up a copy of Suzy Liebermann's ISLAND DREAMS Motivational Photography Book on my phone or computer.  I could stare at the beautiful beach pictures to try and relax my mind.  I'd concentrate on just the main points and fill in the rest ad lib.

How do you work on your fear of public speaking...your glossophobia?

Overcoming Shyness

I'm a big introvert am scared of speaking in public, have stage fright, am shy, etc.  I prefer typing an email, text, blog post, etc. than talk to people, even on the phone.  This is something I've struggled with for years and just seems to be overwhelming me.  I want to get out there and meet new people, go to or have parties...just have actual friends I talk to on a regular basis.

Part of this journey I'm on I've started reading personal development books.  Sure, I'd rather get lost in fiction but this is something that I need to do.  Reading a non-fiction book takes me a lot longer to complete.  Today I started reading The Shyness Solution by Catherine Gillet.  Right off the bat in the first chapter there's a questionnaire to rate your shyness level.  I'm including the questions here (reformatted to fit not displaying all the options) with my answers and results.  So many of the questions involve the reader being single not married so I think the results may be a little skewed.

A little entertainment before the questionnaire

Let's Play 30 Questions

1. Do you feel nervous in situations where you will be meeting new people?  b) Yes, I sometimes do.
2. Do you find yourself wishing you had more friends?  c) Yes, I'm always wishing for more friends.
3. You're walking down the street and you see a friend walking toward you with someone you don't know. What would you do?  a & b) It all depends on what we're all doing.  If either of us look to be in a hurry I just wave as I walk by.  Otherwise I'll greet both and converse for a few minutes before moving on.
4. Where do you feel most comfortable?  a & b) I'd feel comfortable with one good friend or a few people I'm close to.
5. Which scenario sounds most inviting to you - intimate dinner with a few people at your place, going out to eat with a few friends, or staying home alone and watching an old movie?  a) I really want to be able to invite a few people over for dinner parties.
6. When you go to a party how soon do you leave?  a) I'm usually the last one to leave because Benny doesn't want to go.
7. You're on a long flight and the person next to you seems to obviously want to talk.  Do you?  a & b) I'll engage in the conversation.  If it's interesting I'll continue otherwise I'd take out a book.
8. You're sitting at an outdoor café with a couple of friends.  They get into a heated argument.  What do you do?   b & c) Depending on what they're arguing about I may attempt to change the subject or excuse myself and leave.  I don't think I ever could remain waiting for them to resolve it.
9. How do you tend to meet new people?  c) At work/church/school or wherever I'm already going to be.  I don't tend to meet people on my own or through friends.
10. How many friends and acquaintances do you have?  c) I have a few acquaintances and not many friends.
11. Your best friend knows you'll be alone on Thanksgiving, so she invites you to spend the day with her extended family.  Do you accept?  a) Yes, I'd accept the invitation.
12. You meet someone you feel very comfortable around and you would like to be closer friends with her.  She invites you to her beach house for the weekend along with several other people you've never met.  Would you go?  c) I think I'd say I'm sorry but have other plans.
13. What do you do when someone is angry with you for something you feel is unjustified?  b) I'd probably wait a while until she's had time to think about what happened then call and talk on the phone or stop by.
14. A person you're attracted to asks you on a date for the upcoming weekend.  Do you accept?  b) I'd probably tell him I was busy and ask to postpone until the next weekend.
15. At a party, where do you feel most comfortable?  b) I'd be in the kitchen helping the hostess with food and drinks.
16. At the beginning of the semester, the instructor tells your class that an oral presentation will be required for completion of the course.  What would you do?  b) I'd talk to the teacher about my fear of public speaking and ask if I can write an extra paper to satisfy the grade requirement.
17. It's your best friend's birthday and she's having a small dinner party comprised of people you've heard of but never met.  What would you do?  a) I'd go to the party and try to have fun for her sake.
18. You're walking on the treadmill at the gym and an attractive guy on the treadmill next to you tries to strike up a conversation.  What would you do?  a) I'd smile politely, letting him know I was interested, talk for a few moments, and then excuse myself.
19. In what kind of group do you feel more at ease?  b) A small group for sure.
20. You've been shipwrecked on a deserted island.  You can bring only one thing with you.  What would it be?  a) I've always hated this question! LOL I'd rather bring a person than a pet or books.
21. You're out for dinner with a few friends or acquaintances.  The person next to you talks to you and during the course of the conversation he senses you're shy.  Do you agree with him?  c) I'd agree with him then feel self-conscious.
22. What's your idea of a perfect evening with an intimate partner?  b or c) I'd like to spend a quiet evening with friends at our house or theirs. Otherwise we'd order takeout, rent a movie, and stay home with each other.
23. It's a beautiful, crisp Sunday in fall.  What would you prefer to do?  c) I'd probably go for a walk in the park by myself and carry something to listen to music.
24. You were told by your boss that you'd be getting a raise in the new year.  It's now January and the paycheck in question arrives yet you don't receive your raise but your coworkers have.  What are you more likely to do?  a) I'd talk to the boss or his wife (since she's the one that does payroll) and ask what happened.
25. A friend has done or said something that hurts your feelings.  Do you say anything?  b & c) I'd stop talking to them without giving any reason but eventually forget about it and start talking to them again.
26. You're upset with a partner or family member over something he/she has done that you feel was wrong.  Do you say anything?  b) I'd probably say nothing was wrong if he/she asks if I'm upset.
27. A new love interest calls to cancel your date for that evening, saying that he has to work late, and asks to reschedule. What are you more likely to do?  a) Provided this is the first time he's rescheduled I'd say that I understand and ask what day he has in mind.
28. There's an exhibition of your favorite artist at a large museum and you'd really like to share the experience with another person.  What would you do?  a) If I got an email about the show I'd forward it to her and ask if she'd want to come with me.
29. How would you rather communicate with friends?  a & c) I'd rather talk in person when possible otherwise via IM or email.
30. A close friend, who you haven't spoken to or seen for a while since he moved to another part of the country, calls you. You hear his voice on the answering machine as you screen your calls.  What would you do?   a) I'd probably pick up the phone and talk to him.

Scoring

Grand Totals

A's - 14

B's - 13

C's - 10

Wow, I'm not sure how to score this with everything about the same!  Mostly A's is 20 or more, mostly B's is 15 or more, and mostly C's is 20 or more.  I didn't reach ANY of those numbers, even with some having two answers!  So here are the points I agree with about me:

• I'm committed to working hard to change the stigma of being labeled "shy" into a strength which will work in my best interest in order to achieve what I want most in life.  A
• I recognize that the self-defeating behavior of negative thinking is holding me back and I'm trying to change and grow. B
• I feel uncomfortable in unfamiliar situations and I also tend to avoid confrontation, but I'm moving forward to face my fears, whatever they may be. B
• I know I have my work cut out for me, but I'm definitely up for the challenge and success is in my near future.  B

Mostly C's involve someone who's been deeply hurt in the past and only feel safe and secure when they're alone.  So it looks like I'm not as shy as I thought!

Has anyone else read this book or taken a similar questionnaire?  What were your results?